Frustration

I'm so bewildered. I'm so tired. Why are they treating me like I have gone to school for what I am doing? I don't understand. They are expecting me to know things that I don't. I don't feel prepared every day I walk into each classroom. In fact, I dread it. I dread walking into each classroom totally unaware of what I'll be teaching that day. When I started teaching by myself it was, "OK. This class is yours now. You teach it." There was no preparation. There were no lesson plans to get an idea from. I don't even have a teacher's book for some of the classes. How am I supposed to prepare a class if I don't even have a book to look over the subject? I'm just frustrated and tired. I want to feel prepared when I come to school - and I don't. This is the challenging part of this decision that I made. I will take it and try to make the best of it. I will enjoy my time and my students here. Now, I just have to figure out how I will stimulate their minds while teaching them a language they don't know....